Too Much Stress

OK I seriously don't think I can take stressing over it anymore. I applied for federal aid for school. I have a hard time believing I can find enough help for school and daycare. I need someone to get Brian on the bus in the morning. This is if I attend Hannah Mullins day classes which is 44 weeks. Classes next start in March. There is a medical terminology course you must take before classes start in January.

Then there is the Career Center that has classes only once a year but for a full year. Classes are evening so I wouldn't have to worry so much about daycare and cost and Brian getting off to school. I wouldn't see Brian but on the weekends which I assume I will need to study too.

If I start classes in March I can start my career sooner hence make more money sooner and move out of this house. I wont have to worry about my dumb ass job I have now so much because when I start school I don't want to have to work..Just want to focus on school. If I go to the other school next fall it delays everything above and I would have to find another job for the year's time and I doubt much is out there in a recession.

My husband is also a huge pain in the ass.. don't think I have mentioned that lately.

LPN or BUST

OK so I have thrown around a lot of ideas lately. I feel like a HS senior again trying to find myself in short time. I really feel like I am discovering my true self. I have such a passion for helping pregnant women. I really want to ease myself into midwifery. I will do midwifery after my kids are grown so I can be fully educated and available to my patients. Have to be fair. I know I should go for RN...that just isn't getting me into the field fast enough. That would take 2-4 yrs. I found a nursing school VERY close by that runs a 44 week program...That's less then a year !!!!! I could be working in a hospital by this time next year...That excites me to no end. Just hope it can be on the labor and delivery floor.

As for paying for college........That's the toughest part...Can I find enough financial help. I have 6 months to figure it out.

Update on my friend

My friend responded with all the garbage her doctor is feeding her for the induction. So I responded with some good information. I told her If she wanted to know more that I would be more then happy to help...I asked her to make sure she asks a lot of questions and warned her of the dangers of pitocin and cervadil. I wished her the best and now I wait to see what she thinks of my nice long inofrmative letter.

Panic

I read on a friend's myspace about her impending induction on Monday. She is not a close friend but someone I worked with a few years back. She is a young first time mom. As soon as I read her status, I felt panic all over. I "HAD" to do something meanwhile thinking this is not your birth. BUT BUT BUT I can't stand back and watch a train wreck possibly happen right? So I did what I would want someone else to do for me and offer the unsolicited advice... I'm still shaking over the idea she might end up a c/s and not know the consequences of it. I will be upset if she doesn't contact me and ends up with a c/s. But what if she succeeds through all the interventions ??? Will I be upset about that too?? Jealously will rear its ugly head I'm sure but I'm sure I will be relieved too.

On another subject I bought 2 books Thursday. "the doulas guide to birth" and Ina May's "guide to child birth"....I'm also awaiting my copy of Jennifer Block's "Pushed"....As soon as I finish those I want "silent knife" and "Born in the USA".....Ohhh and a couple movies... I don't remember their names but I'll update when I get those.